Making Lemonade

About 18 months ago, one reason I began meditating (and studying Taoism) is because my feet, and thus standing and walking, weren't good for me. The crippling pain caused by my birth defects would set in within my first block of walking anywhere. After two blocks, I'd have an obvious limp. And, after three or more blocks, I'd be dragging my left foot behind me; like a dog that had been hit by a car.

After 45 years of standing and walking as described above, I just decided it was time for me to sit down ... and, like all things I've tried in life, to sit very well. This realization and decision meant I had to be content with sitting in one place for indefinite periods of time; something that, without training, many of us westerners don't do well at all.

I wasn't new to the idea of meditating. It had been recommended by my family and doctors for years; I just wasn't ready to meditate at the time they suggested it. But, because my new approach to life required that I sit very well, I suddenly felt a strong desire to learn how to meditate. And, luckily for me, learning how to meditate has recently been simplified using smart phones and applications.


Gaining some 'Headspace'

After Googling "best meditation apps for Android", I found the Number 1 app for learning and practicing meditation, at that time, was called 'Headspace', and I immediately downloaded the app and eagerly opened it. In less than a minute, I was learning how to meditate, and seconds later, I was beginning my first three-minute meditation; following the instructions and narrative by Headspace founder and Buddhist Monk Andy Puddicombe.

I found it fascinating that, when I followed Andy's instructions perfectly, all the different lengths of meditations felt as if they took up the exact same amount of time. Five, 10 and 20-minute meditations felt just like three-minute sessions. Within a month, I was meditating two times each day, for 15 minutes each sitting. And, in my second month, I bumped that up to 20 minutes each sitting.

The results were exponential. After just two months of meditating daily, I had ideal blood pressure, had lost 12 pounds without trying and had a steady pulse; whereas prior to meditating, I had high blood pressure and common heart palpitations.


Walking 'The Path'

Amazed by meditation's benefits, I decided that, to become even better at sitting, I wanted to learn more about the origins of mindfulness and meditation; which lead me to picking up a book called "The Path" from my local public library. It was an easy-to-follow history of ancient Eastern philosophy; mainly the origins and intentions of Buddhism, Confucianism and Taoism and how they could be applied in a modern western society.

I'd read the Tao Te Ching in previous years, but I had never really studied it. After finishing "The Path", I decided to take a closer look. And, when I applied mindfulness and meditation to my studies in Taoism, everything just began making sense.

And, when I say 'everything' began making sense through my studies in Taoism, I mean EVERYTHING. Why we do what we do and a better way to approach all occurrences in daily life; with peace, patience, humility, frugality, gratitude, harmony, compassion and love guiding every single one of our decisions. In practicing daily meditation, mindfulness and Taoism, I felt as if I had sipped from the cup of wisdom, and after my meditations, I was often left in a state of awe; marveling at all my mistakes and the entire world with a sense of wonder similar to that of a toddler allowed to explore their world, outside, for the first time.

Of course, that doesn't mean I'm perfect in my practice. Far from it! But, my studies have allowed me to gain the peace and stillness of mind required for me to sit very well for long periods of time without feeling a need to move or go anywhere; not out of laziness but out of true awareness of the ever-fleeting present moment.


From Lemons to Lemonade

My studies have also yielded a better understanding of myself, my physical and spiritual needs and my potential as a sentient being and Tao cultivator. When I make mistakes now, I am quick to realize and learn from them. When I align myself with Tao, I feel it. And, when I am not balanced, I feel that also and am now better equipped to get myself back on track.

The original goal was to become better at sitting, because it was painful for me to stand, but the result has been and is so much more. Through studying Taoism and practicing mindfulness and meditation, I have become a newer, better version of myself; someone I never would have before imagined.

The birth defects that have plagued me all my life have thus become my greatest blessing. My only hope is that, someday, I'm able to give back to the world all that it has afforded me.

I am grateful for this opportunity.

(Photo: The author's meditation corner in his apartment.)